· The First Temple was destroyed by the Babylonians, led by Nebuchadnezzar. 100,000 Jews were slaughtered and millions more exiled. (586 BCE) · The Second Temple was destroyed by the Romans, led by Titus. Some two million Jews died, and another one million were exiled. (70 CE) · The Bar Kochba revolt was crushed by Roman Emperor Hadrian. The city of Betar -- the Jews' last stand against the Romans -- was captured and liquidated. Over 100,000 Jews were slaughtered. (135 BCE) · The Temple area and its surroundings were plowed under by the Roman general Turnus Rufus. Jerusalem was rebuilt as a pagan city -- renamed Aelia Capitolina -- and access was forbidden to Jews. Some other grave misfortunes throughout Jewish history occurred on the Ninth of Av, including: · Pope Urban II declared the First Crusade. Tens of thousands of Jews were killed, and many Jewish communities obliterated. · The Spanish Inquisition culminated with the expulsion of Jews from Spain on Tisha B'Av in 1492. · World War One broke out on Tisha B'Av in 1914 when Russia declared war on Germany. German resentment from the war set the stage for the Holocaust. · On Tisha B'Av, deportation began of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto.
Now that’s all history, and a new part of my past as I accept it as my own. There are a couple other things I didn’t know, and still some to learn in time, I’m sure. I don’t have that urgent need to rush through it all now. I want to savor and enjoy the experiences as they provide me the growth I search for during my journey. The following is how I experienced the event. I read a book that had a limited explanation and thought that was all of it. Then, I forgot that the Jewish day begins at sundown -- but I won’t forget that again. You see, I fasted on the day before instead on the day itself by mistake. Rabbi Susan just smiled when I told her how upset I was that I had done that. I think she knows that I won’t be making that mistake again either. I do learn things the hard way sometimes. It’s like with most experiences in my life - I just dive in and come up for air later. It is exciting though and I do enjoy the experience. During my fast, I had to make some adjustments because I wasn’t accustomed to fasting - it’s not something I aspire to, you know. Also, I meditated during parts of the day and came to the realization that I don’t need to worry about some of the things that have been bothering me lately. What is - is. I can accept it and the experiences that come with it. Again, it’s good to remember that things don’t need to look a certain way to enjoy them and feel complete. Today I came to feel complete and it was a feeling shared with God. My strength is within me and it resides warmly within my spirit - the Spirit of God. I chose not to work, but to observe the day as best I could for my first time. I chose also to go to the evening services. A headache came on halfway through the day so I relented and had some coffee in an attempt to knock it out. That didn’t work! So that was one of those things I decided to accept as “this too shall pass.” I arrived at Temple a little early and chose a seat next to the aisle this time. I thought I might need to leave during the service due to all the water I had consumed during the day. I sat there until one of the choir motioned for me to come over to where they were sitting. I wasn’t sure at first if it was me she was making signals to, but then she shook her head yes. I just joined the choir you see but I didn’t think I was ready to sing in public yet. It’s been years since I have sung in a choir and then I was an Alto. I think my voice has sunk a little lower so it might take a great deal of practice to get it to climb up to where it should be. The choir is all very supportive and friendly toward me. I need to learn the language also, so it will be a challenge, but a challenge I’ll gladly take on. One of the women in the choir sang a very solemn, sad song halfway through the services. It was so beautiful. I didn’t know a word of it yet I got the feel of the sadness and sorrow in her voice as she sung. It was a touching moment for me and began to bring memories of loved ones now departed from God’s earth. As members of the group got up to light candles, one by one, they began to tell of the person they were lighting the candle for. Each story was touching and allowed us all to see their loved one through their eyes. As I sat and listened, I began recalling moments with my loved ones also. I was grateful once more and thanking God for their presence in my life. In one moment I began to have a regret that I hadn’t gotten up to light a candle with the others. But then God planted the thought that I could do it privately this first year when I returned home that evening. So the service was a time not only for mourning the past sorrows in events, but also for honoring our loved ones and remembering in the honoring and the sorrow.
Before we left for the evening, we were given hard boiled eggs that had been cooked slowly for 24 hours. When I returned home, those two eggs I ate tasted mighty good! After finishing my dinner I walked through the house lighting candles. One after another, each represented a loved one: Mom, Dad, J.C., Grandma, Uncle Justin (my godfather), Uncle Russ (better known as “Uncle Bunky”), Aunt Mary and Uncle John (one of my best examples - next to my mom and dad - of what commitment and love in a marriage can do to keep it thriving), Jeanne Hughes (one of my dearest friends), Uncle Tony, and numerous more. The point is that when I had finished, the whole house was lit up with the memories of my loved ones - lit up as they had lit up my life while they were present in it. How the glow warmed me once more as they had warmed me too. I lay on my bed and watched the lights flickering as if they were dancing in my midst and yet of course they were!
Thank you God for allowing my first experience of Tisha B’Av to be filled with so much love within the memories of times gone by and sharing that love with new friends. Yes, there is sadness to be experienced on Tisha B’Av, but the sadness is indeed bittersweet with love.
