When your offspring's reach the ages of 19 and 22, you begin to feel that they don't need your guidance on a regular basis; or at least they don't openly acknowledge the need for counseling. Whatever the reason, parenting begins to take a back seat in the stream of things that govern a one's general day, and other factors begin to receive the long overdue attention. But this weekend was a rarity. Maybe I was more aware of the experience because it was no longer routine. In my son's situation, however, I would have hoped for the bonding under better circumstances.
Saturday morning began and I started out as usual, going to the Bread Company for breakfast. Upon my return, however, Gina was waiting outside on the porch with red, teary eyes and informed me that her brother, Jason, was on the way over. She further added that he was quite upset because he and his girlfriend had just split up. Gina and Jas had talked for a while on the phone and he gave her all the particulars. I'm very lucky that they are, at this time, close and supportive of each other. They are three years apart as a result of me reading somewhere earlier on that this distance in age would make for a good bonding relationship between siblings. They have each been there for the other during their growing years, giving the other support when needed. Therefore, that piece of advice has proven to be true for me.
Now that Gina had advised me of the situation, thoughts were running through my mind as to whether I would be able to provide for Jason's needs at this particular time of his life. It seems to be for me that the counseling is becoming more difficult as they get older although it's less often. I can only pray, as all parents do at some time in life, that as parents, we were able to instill in our children a substantial foundation for living during their growing years to carry them through their life's path.
All the words of love from a mother cannot stop the hurt a child feels when loosing someone they care for in a special way. Jason came over and we talked for a long while, and hugged, and when it was all done, we had bonded a little more for having shared this time in his life.
Sunday came, and Gina wanted to go and get an autograph from Mark Valley. He was scheduled to be at Crestwood Mall for signing autographs and it really seemed important to her, so I drove her there. Like everyone else, we waited in line for a long while, and when the time for him to leave came, there were a lot of disappointed fans. He wasn't trying to be rude, he just had other commitments at another mall on the west end.
10/5/96 Gina's letter to Mark:
I am writing you this letter to acknowledge you for what you did for me on Saturday October 5, 1996. I went to the Sears store in the Crestwood Mall and stood in line waiting to get your autograph. I waited in line for the first time to get someone's autograph, as the line grew shorter the time increased. Four o'clock came and you had to leave; but there were still fans waiting in line, including me. The disappointment filled the air as each one of us unfortunate admirers walked away unfulfilled. You escaped through a side door marked "employees only."
On route from the store to the parking lot, I caught sight of a limousine. I decided to wait to see if it was indeed yours. I was given one more chance to try to obtain your autograph and I needed to be patient and wait for the time to lend itself to my success. You emerged from the store after what seemed to be a long time, but was probably only twenty minutes. Now was my chance. I quickly, but politely approached you from the other side of the limousine and asked for your autograph. To my surprise, you took the time to write a note and sign the photo. I want to thank you for taking the time out of your crowded schedule to bring happiness to a fan.
It gave me so much incentive to know that if I put my mind to doing something, I could do anything. I apologize for any inconvenience that might have been caused from my stopping you in-route to your next meeting, but it really touched me that you took time out for me and I thank you again from the bottom of my heart.
PS Love those incredible blue eyes.
When Gina let me read her letter, I could see the results of what her father and I had been teaching the children during their formative years. In the one writing I could see perseverance without force, determination, acknowledgment, and of course "possibility."
Through whatever happens, I will always be there for my children when they need me. I know I have made mistakes in parenting but I pray they forgive me my mistakes and remember my love for them above all else. I am proud of them both and love them dearly, each in their own way, and by their own needs. May the good experiences we have created together outweigh the not-so-good ones and live on in our memories. I will always be there for you.
Love
Mom
